Making a significant life decision

There will be a time in your life when you will be confronted with having to make a major life decision.

A friend was discussing his intention to emigrate and stated that ‘hanging around is like death’. He added that ‘hanging around in life’ was a difficulty that he had been encountering over time. His life was going nowhere and he was feeling immobilised, stuck and blocked. He seemed to be experiencing a slow death due to the lack of movement in his life.

The creation of reality starts as a thought and a major life decision may take time to make. Even after making the decision, there may be an oscillation between ‘yes-no’, coupled with doubt and fear. Getting conscious change to occur in your life takes determination and courage since there is a homeostasis that has to be challenged.

Your emotional security is wrapped up in the familiar patterns of interaction which define your life. When making a life decision which requires significant change, you will encounter uncertainty and unpredictability. Moving into a future that has not yet unfolded is an uncomfortable mental process, since there is no familiarity to anchor onto. Moving into the unknown, requires trust and takes courage.

The process of making a decision is only the first stage of the movement of change that you may wish to achieve. After the decision, little action steps need to occur. Thinking needs to transform into action. In the initial stages of action, there may be little or no movement. It may feel as if you are not getting any traction. This may activate feelings of despondency and doubt. Your sense of self-empowerment may dwindle.

The unfolding process may have a paradoxical feel to it. Internally, you are likely to experience turbulence with energy pulling and pushing you in a fragmenting way. In contrast, you may feel stagnant, with no significant movement being evident when you assess your external progress. The process will require patience. Creating rigid expectations of how things will unfold and the pace thereof, may inadvertently build up frustration. Instead, try and relax and be open to the unexpected and the range of possibilities that may be waiting to emerge.

It is important to keep the bigger picture in mind, as well as the vision of the necessity to change, as a guiding light in the change process. These are your mental anchors. Furthermore, work on keeping emotionally light since the taxing emotional process may make you feel heavy and stuck.

Energy can be likened to fire, as well as, to water. Keeping the metaphor of moving water in mind can assist you in the process. Healthy, clear mountain water flows naturally, moving around rocks and obstacles. Water is fluid and gentle as it makes its way flowing down the mountain.

As I walked along the little river meandering in the forest, I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation of ‘hanging around is like death’.






3 thoughts on “Making a significant life decision

  1. Matthew Nell

    Great blog. But what’s the decision? BJ and I in Cape St Francis- weather spectacular, cycling excellent, good afternoon naps. All good. How you Guys?



    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Justin Nash

    Thanks Ken, great posting.

    Haven’t ask you how are you settling in Switzerland, have you made a decision on your longer term future?

    Lyndi and I are traveling to Switzerland at the end of the month, it would be great to see you if the logistics work out?

    Are you free this coming week for a catch-up, we are back in JHB and settling in to 2016?


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