How are you being influenced?

Besides being an energy system, you are also an information system. How you interpret and give meaning to information you encounter is determined by your unique cognitive structure – your experiences, knowledge, beliefs, perceptions and assumptions. As an information system, you are constantly integrating and splitting up pieces of information in unique ways to create new meaning. This is the fundamental nature of consciousness.

Information cannot exist in a vacuum. It needs an interpersonal context that offers meaning and value. There is no absolute truth when it comes to ideas and perceptions. Instead, there is a movement towards truth which is dependent on a process of unspoken consensus.

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A contrast between rock and water

In the scientific community, there are strict protocols to follow for ideas or hypotheses to be accepted and considered worthy. In such a community, no piece of information is immune to being scrutinised and re-evaluated over time. This is because technical and scientific information is evolutionary by nature, moving towards more complexity over time.  

When it comes to social contexts, information and influence are intricately interwoven. Who is saying what to whom, how is it being said and received, when and why is it being conveyed, are all aspects of the dynamics of influence. In social contexts, ‘truth’ is determined by the dominant opinions that exist in the community in which the information is exchanged.

In today’s information age, one needs to understand the influential power of how peer groups participate on social media. Over coffee when discussing his difficulty dealing with his teenage daughter, a friend reacted with surprise when I mentioned that his daughter’s peer group probably had more influence over her thinking and behaviour than what his opinions, values and family norms had. 

Social platforms can become all-consuming and addictive. This is largely due to the need to be accepted and validated by the social group that one is part of. On all of the social media platforms there are influencers, shaping the thinking of those who follow. There is an illusion of having an individual perspective on these platforms. However the need to fit in and conform are actually the deeper processes at play.

Due to the nature of the information flow on these social platforms, opinions and judgements are usually offered immediately without censure. In addition, these opinions unfold in the public domain, which in turn, activates further comments from those who need to add their voice to the story (see Discernment, drama and deception).

Social platforms offer a 24/7 service to those who want to offer their opinions and judgements on any issue. They cater for the immediate desire to ‘have your say’. These platforms spew out information at an alarming rate. For those involved, there is no escape from the drama of the process, especially if there are personal, contentious or sensitive issues at play.

Due to the malleable nature of informational feedback loops, ‘like attracts like’ when it comes to what you say. Given this principle, aggression will be matched with aggression. If what you say, is driven by a feeling of entitlement and arrogance, you will probably get caught in a cycle of constantly trying to prove your importance.

One of the major concerns regarding these platforms is how information can get distorted and vindictively used to emotionally bully others. Despite his age and standing, Donald Trump, is an example, of how a person uses social media to feed an insatiable desire to be worshipped and validated. This, coupled with his propensity to bully and divide, if his opinions and desires are opposed, are at the heart of of how destructive these platforms can become (see Trump trumps politiciansDealing with an aggressive, self-opinionated energyLeading a Divided States of AmericaStruggling to gain credibility).

Time and movement in the competitive space

When considering the dynamics of sporting or business performance, one needs to consider time and movement in space. More specifically, a player needs to be mindful of how his/her emotional and energetic state moves while encountering challenges in a competitive environment.

Rowing in stormy weather

In general, the emotional state of a player will move in one of two directions during practice (or during a match) depending on whether or not he is successful in dealing with the stressful challenges. If he is effective in the process, his emotional state will move to a place of optimism, coupled with a sense of freedom on an energetic level. If he struggles and makes mistakes and fails in his efforts, his emotional state will move to a place of pessimism, and his energetic system will tighten. On another level, the energetic system gets stuck during poor performance, with the player feeling totally immobilized.

While consulting with an international athlete, I asked the player to get connected to his present emotional state before entering the competitive space of intense practice. He needed to do a mind/body connection, without judging his energetic state. This offered him internal information as a starting point. In addition, he was asked to share what he was going to work on, on a technical level, during his practice. This provided him with specific clarity as a starting point regarding technique.

During practice, the challenge for the player was to trigger an internal process to move his emotional and energetic state into a more optimistic place when he was performing poorly.

Introducing meaningful information at a critical point in the process is necessary in order to move a player’s energetic and emotional state into a more freer and relaxed place.

But what constitutes meaningful information, and how can the player access it?

On a fundamental level, there are two distinct levels of information that need to be accessed and integrated. Firstly, there is technical information that needs to be incorporated to ensure improved performance. This information exists on the mechanical level of performance. Secondly, there is emotional and energetic information that exists internally. This type of information can be accessed if the player is mindful.

On a coaching level, the skillful and wise coach is able to introduce a meaningful piece of information at a critical point in time, that frees up the tight emotional place that an athlete can find him/herself in, when performing poorly. This information becomes the key that unlocks the internal potential of the player. When this occurs, the coach will see an immediate shift in performance.

There may be times when the coach stops the process and asks the player to take some time out of the competitive space in order to reflect on what is unfolding. This may be enough to create breathing space, so as to allow the necessary movement to occur. However, while this can be done during intense practice, it will not be possible during matches.

In a recent conversation with another elite sportsman, I termed this general movement as one in which the player moves towards the sweet spot during performance.

Struggling to gain credibility

There may be many reasons why an elite sporting team performs poorly over time.

In my experience, the biggest contributing factor in determining whether the team wins or loses over time, is the nature of the leadership and the interpersonal dynamics that envelops the coach. A coach will struggle to motivate, unite and integrate the diversity of ideas within a team if the players experience the coach to be:

  • a bully
  • self-centred
  • non-trusting
  • arrogant
  • inconsiderate
  • disrespectful or demeaning
  • defensive or aggressive

If the players do not feel emotionally safe and are not able to be open and honest with the coach, for fear of reprisal, they will undermine and sabotage whatever the coach says, even if it means losing match after match. When such dynamics exist, the team invariably implodes and goes into a downward spiral. The team will want the coach to fail and will unconsciously or consciously sacrifice its performance to ensure that the coach gains no credit for any achievement or success. As this process intensifies over time, the coach will invariably ‘get fired’ due to the ongoing losses.

This does not only happen, in sporting contexts. It is the nature of human behaviour and can be seen in families, educational settings, work contexts and certainly in political contexts, where there may be many axes to grind with opponents – due to past issues.

The ascent
The ascent

In a previous post, I stated that in his personal quest to become president, Trump may have unleashed a complex divisive process in the country that may prove difficult to manage or change, when he is president… and that trying to lead a divided nation may prove to be more complex and challenging than dealing with immigration issues, threats of terrorism, or international trade relations with other countries.

Trump is dealing with legitimacy issues and is struggling to gain credibility.

In his desperate attempt to salvage credibility he is unleashing self-defeating processes that continually undermine his worthiness by:

  • fabricating stories (as if fact), to portray an image of success
  • attacking the press to negate their perspective of an event
  • impulsively signing executive orders to prove that he is a president that acts
  • ongoing social media tweets that reflect a defensive immaturity
  • publicly attacking other leaders (past and present)
  • denying the bubbling stories around his (or his team’s) relationship and involvement with Russia during and after his presidential campaign

Trump activates controversy and chaos in relationships. In short, he creates drama. He has a disruptive and divisive energy flow that may have succeeded in business as he gained the upper hand over a competitor. He appears to have many hidden agendas and given his modus operandi, others will not trust him. While he could dictate how he would do business with others, by hiring and firing who and when he wanted to, he is now finding that he cannot control the opinions of others around him.

Trump is not mindful of what he says and how he says it, especially with regard to indisputable facts. He does not fully comprehend the impact of what he says. Trump seems to believe that there is a fixed reality according to his perspective, which everyone needs to agree with. He does not seem to understand and accept that in this age of information flow, everyone has an opinion and interpretation of an event.

For now, Trump is teetering on the edge. In time, he will reveal more and more of himself. Over the past couple of weeks it has become clear that drama, distraction and fabrication will be drivers of his information flow. In the process, however, he may need to guard against digging himself in a hole from which it will be impossible to emerge.

Trump continually suggests that he is and will be, the most successful president of the United States of America. In a rather paradoxical way, he needs to understand that humility and ethics can start a process in which he slowly gains some credibility, however small. Without this, he is doomed to fail.

In the end, only the people will decide whether he is credible or not.

‘Not knowing’

NotKnowing1

Yesterday, I was reading through some messages that I and a close friend had been exchanging over time. As I read them, I experienced a range of feelings, from sadness to a deeper appreciation of our relationship.

The sadness was due to my reading our messages dated two months before he passed away. I had just spent a wonderful week with him, taking photographs, and had been telling him how much I enjoyed our discussions about photography. He replied, telling me how much he valued our relationship. He was a well known film director and had a wealth of knowledge about lighting, composition and creativity in photography, that he shared with me in abundance.

I used to visit him on a yearly basis, usually around his birthday. For me, it was a photographic retreat where I could immerse myself into a field that I loved.

When he visited me, we spent hours talking about philosophy and psychology. He shared some of his deepest emotional struggles with me. It seemed that without us knowing it, we developed this ‘to and fro’ visiting rhythm where photography was centre stage in his place of abode, and psychology was the theme when he spent time visiting me.

During my visit in April 2014, he did not know that he had cancer. We also did not know that he only had two more months to live. As I was reading through our exchange that we had in April 2014, I couldn’t stop thinking about the notion of legacy and love, and how quickly life can change and how fragile our existence actually is. In this age of information flow, communication is documented and archived in a string of ‘to and fro’ bits of meaningful (or not?) exchanges between people. As you reflect back on the past communication you have had with a friend or family member, you never know when death will intervene and stop the exchange.

As I read through the old messages between us, there were no regrets about not having said what I really wanted to say, or wishing that I hadn’t said what I had said. In fact, as I went through our messaging, I felt a deeper appreciation of our relationship.

I couldn’t stop feeling that since we live in a state of ‘not knowing’ when it comes to death, our every message that we send to others should be enveloped with a conscious awareness that we are creating a legacy of who we are, and how we wish to be remembered.

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