The presentation and the paradox

The presentation was about to begin.

It was a dark night. Most attendees could not see. But this did not concern them since they had all got used to the dark which descended, whenever their so called leader delivered his rambling, nonsensical monologue. It was all too familiar. It was all so predictable. There was little or no intellectual foundation to anything that he said.

Most attendees were comfortable not to see. In fact, behind closed doors in private conversations, it was unanimously agreed that it was preferable not to look, since not looking would prevent seeing, which in a weird sort of way, could pardon them from taking on any responsibility for not challenging any comment, statement and decision that he may make. Further, not being able to see could be used as an excuse of that ‘we didn’t know’ when they would eventually be confronted with, sometime in the future, all of the evidence that revealed the incompetence, greed, narcissism and fear-mongering of their Destroyer-in-Chief.

Tonight, nature was not playing its part. The clouds lifted (much like curtains do at the beginning of a show), to reveal beautiful, refreshing light that radiated from the moon at the very moment that he uttered his first word.

‘I will keep you safe, I will protect you’, promised the Destroyer. ‘I have been your omega and saviour for four years, and now more than ever before, there is more need for me to keep you safe. The world is a dangerous place. There are internal and external threats that only I can protect you from’.

He had mastered the tactic of intensifying fear, as a way to hold onto his power and authority. It was a common tactic that all dictators used.

‘I have done a great job. Look at how well we are doing, I have created a nirvana where everyone is prospering. The numbers are great.’

He was a master of arrogance and ‘big talk’. His speech was vague, littered with sweeping generalizations so that he could create false verbal realities that in no way matched the reality that people were actually experiencing. There was such a disconnect.

Hours passed as the Divider-in-Chief ranted and raved. He had a captured audience for his one-man show; an audience that dared not utter a word, ask a question or disagree with anything that was said. But this was all too familiar – most of the crowd had ‘clocked out’, with eyes closed and voices silent.

During one of the rare moments when he paused, a courageous voice asked a question. It was not a confident voice, but it shocked the sleepy audience out of their slumber. They all knew that the wrath of the Destroyer would soon be unleashed. He was a master of twisting information around, of undermining and belittling any ideas or questions that were not in agreement with his.

‘But sir don’t you see the paradox?’

The question was asked respectfully but it riled the Destroyer. He demanded total allegiance and loyalty from everyone, not only from his sleepy audience. How dare anyone question his authority? He had already told everyone that he was a genius so why did this punk not listen?

‘That’s a nasty question, and you are a stupid person’, attacked the Destroyer. He was a master of intimidating tactics that unbalanced any opponent in front of others.

But this was no ordinary person who had posed the question. He was a tai chi master, who understood the nature of energy flow and the power of having a gentle, loving attitude to all things that he encountered. He was an integrative thinker, who understood the complexity of diverse ecological systems.

He stood in silence looking directly into the eyes of the Divider-in-Chief. He radiated energy that unnerved the Destroyer, who was still trying to make intellectual sense of the question that had been posed.

‘Don’t you see the paradox that totally undermines and destroys everything you say? And in the process, it will ultimately destroy you?’

Confusion reigned in the mind of the Disrupter-in-Chief. For the first time, he was now encountering a tai chi master who was skilled in the power of reflection.

‘Who has caused or is responsible for the turmoil that exists at present, which has unfolded on your watch over the past four years? Why do you escape into the future by creating more fear in the present so that you can promise to rescue the future, given the turmoil and chaos that exists in the present. How can you simultaneously be the savior and solver of future destruction, when in fact you are the source and the creator of present chaos?’

‘It is impossible for you to solve the very problems that you have created, unless of course you don’t believe that you have caused any of the chaos that presently exists in our country?

‘I have done a great job’, countered the Destroyer.

‘And therein lies the problem that prevents you from seeing the paradox’, concluded the master.

 

 

Paradoxes, borders and runaways

Since my first post dealing with the impact of coronavirus, the death rate in the USA has increased from 93 to 217 (average of 32 deaths a day), while deaths related to the ‘gun virus’ have increased from 8144 to 8460 (105 deaths per day).

The whole world now seems to be in lock down, with border closures preventing the movement of people. In addition, many towns and cities are ghost-like as people have gone into self quarantine, and bunkered down. The family system has now also closed its borders to the outside world.

Over the past week, our global system has gone on a runaway in its efforts to deal with the coronavirus. We have never experienced such a challenge before. We are in an unbalanced state as the domino effect kicks in on all levels of society. When one country closes its border, another follows, with the rest following rapidly. This cascades down further, within each country itself. If one restaurant closes, the domino effect kicks in and the rest follow. If one sporting code decides to cancel a season, other sporting codes follow. No one wants to be seen to not be responding. While these decisions might be imposed by government or reached by the respective institutions, a runaway gets triggered. This is the process of how a system implodes.  

Runaways are activated when a system loses its ability to self regulate and to be in balance. Extreme actions and excessive gyrations of extreme reactions are activated as processes get unleashed that impact all levels of the system. Everything that constitutes and defines the system is affected. In this regard, it is interesting to watch the financial markets, since they reflect these uncontrollable swings in a system that is on a runaway.

This runaway is usually internally triggered by an unhealthy system that needs to change.

Rushing for water

In time, systems do eventually find a new equilibrium. Ecological systems have a deep wisdom of their own. We need to trust this. New patterns of interaction, new ways of thinking and acting start to emerge as the system searches for a new balance. In the process, the system undergoes a significant change.

Many paradoxes come to the fore when dealing with ecological crises. The reason why paradoxes emerge is that the interdependence, interconnection and circularity of processes that exist in a system, have not been fully understood or respected. Further, these delicate interconnections are not always evident when a system is in equilibrium. In fact, a healthy system seems to function and evolve effortlessly, with checks and balances in motion.

Limiting the movement of people, and reducing contact with others by creating social distance, is the most effective way to tackle any virus (not only the coronavirus). However, the closure of borders (within countries, societies and families) has created a world that feels so unnatural and strange. The imposed restrictions go against our deep need to connect and to feel a sense of belonging with others, since loving touch and physical contact with others is a vital part of remaining healthy.

Closing borders between countries is a necessary global response, but in doing so we are in fact experiencing, first hand, the sort of world that nationalistic, populistic leaders are advocating for, in times when there is no global crisis. The closing of borders in the present crisis, however, does not mean that we are fighting each other, but rather paradoxically we are working with each other. It is not a ‘them versus us’ response. In this regard, we are all in the same boat, existing in our closed political and social systems.

As families close their own little borders, separating themselves from the wider community, internal stresses unfold. As parents try to work from home, work and family dynamics may clash. The line between doing work and dealing with family demands, gets blurred. Depending on the developmental stage of the family, parents will be stressed further as they may need to take on educational duties in order to keep their children busy and stimulated. Allocating time for work, play, study, leisure so that the family system can fully function, is a fundamental challenge for parents during this time. New patterns of interactions and routines will need to be found as the family experiences the challenges of blurred boundaries between work and family demands, fun/play time and ‘school’ time, exercise time and quiet time. This may require parents to work while children are sleeping, which in turn eats into their ‘sleep’ time. This could result in fatigue as time goes on, as the family has only its own internal resources to call on.  

At the moment, the medical system is under severe stress and is vulnerable, since no vaccine has been developed yet, to treat the virus. In time, however, the scientific and medical system will ‘catch up’ in its understanding and in the process find the ‘formula’ to treat coronavirus effectively. Until then, we need to wait for science and medicine to unravel the ‘complexity’ of the virus. As we wait, we will encounter our own stresses as we try to deal with the abnormality that every country finds itself in.

A man made cloud

 

Being in a box

I was sitting alone in a coffee stop in Frankfurt reflecting on my participation in a workshop on business coaching. I was busy examining a work dilemma that I was having that was embedded in (a) the philosophy that underpins helping others and (b) the paradigm of thinking that directs and organises information flow in how one interprets human behaviour that unfolds in an interpersonal context.

I was deeply wrapped up in thought as I looked out of the window of the coffee shop.

A tiny, yet bright light shining in the distance immediately caught my attention. It was a light that could be easily missed, if you were not looking in that direction. There were many other competing visual and auditory distractions around me; traffic lights, people and cars passing by, laughter and chatter as people enjoyed their coffee, and the familiar sound of the machine grinding the coffee beans to produce the addictive auroma of the coffee to be served. Any one of these processes, at that specific moment, could have diverted my eyes away from the reality of the existence of this tiny source of light.

It was a light that only lasted a couple of minutes, just before the sun moved below the horizon.

The light was coming from a cross on a church, reflecting the rays of a sun that was about to set. While I do not belong to any one specific religious denomination; for me, the cross symbolises peace, tolerance, compassion and wisdom.

Once I had noticed the light, I couldn’t stop looking at it. Its strength, power, significance and magnetism far surpassed its size.

As I looked at it, I was catapulted out of my internal debate. A clear meaningful insight about my dilemma was being transmitted by this tiny light. The insight bypassed my intellectual reasoning. Its magnetism ‘pulled’ me out of my previous train of thought. Instantaneously, I felt that I had been transported into an emotional and intellectual space where I could move freely between the opposing poles of the dilemma.

I immediately felt out of the box.

I felt free from the constriction that the dilemma had imposed on me. There was relief, coupled with a feeling of emotional strength.

As I continued looking at the tiny light in the distance, I was struck by its authenticity and beauty. In exploring my feelings further about the workshop that I had participated in, I realised how much courage it takes to be transparent and authentic in an interpersonal context that may be quick to define and judge you according to who they think you are (or believe who you should be).

The river Main separates the beautiful urban skyline of Frankfurt (representing the mechological powers of man) from the ecological rhythm of a gorgeous golden sunset unfolding behind a church.

A dualistic tension can emerge between the mechological and ecological approaches to understanding and solving human problems. As I moved out of the box, I felt free to jump in and out of each paradigm. This liberation offered me a wider and deeper perspective of the dilemma that the clash of mechological and ecological thinking can cause.

As the sun set, the tiny light still shone brightly in my mind as I left the coffee shop and made my way to the airport.

Researcher of self – a journey into the unknown

On a fundamental level, scientific research requires that the researcher move from the known into the unknown. Dr Uri Alon, believes that scientific research is an emotionally taxing process due to the necessity of this movement.

However, it is interesting that this emotional component of the research process is not usually discussed, revealed and/or acknowledged in the final published research article. In fact, the published article usually presents a rather cold, detached perspective of the process. This belies the intensely personal and emotional dimension of the research journey.

By its nature, research needs to reveal what has not yet been discovered. Present understanding (and knowledge) of any phenomenon is based on what is already known. However, what is already known offers no security to the researcher as the research process moves into the unknown. That is the paradox of the process: ‘knowing what exists, does not offer any comfort for what needs to be discovered’.

While the researcher will have a hypothesis (research question) that will guide the investigation in the beginning, it cannot be relied on to offer emotional support to the researcher when he/she is confronted with messy data and information that may not make any logical sense based on existing knowledge. Given this, researchers need support and encouragement at a time when they are most confused in the process; since it is in this confusion that the seeds of new insights and discoveries exist.

I consider the ‘unknown’ to be a vast undiscovered, undifferentiated world of complexity and paradox. While the scientist may enter this world with a hypothesis, he/she actually needs a huge amount of courage and persistence to deal with the complexity of the unknown. Feelings of confusion, doubt and uncertainty will reign supreme as the researcher steps into this world. In addition the ‘unknown’ is a master at blocking the movement of the researcher, often causing immobilization and despair.

But paradoxically, the ‘block’ in the research process is actually the most significant feedback loop to the researcher. It tells the researcher that (a) a new way of thinking is required, (b) existing assumptions need to be examined, (c) new information or considerations need to included, and/or (d) the direction of the inquiry may need to change.

Skyline drive, Virginia

As a clinician, I believe that each of us is an unique, evolutionary unfolding of integrated energy and information. Our uniqueness is expressed in how we reveal our energy to others; as well as, how our worldview (deepest beliefs and assumptions of ourselves, others and life) influences our thinking and interaction patterns, which in turn determines how our life unfolds.

A healthy energetic and informational system expands in a balanced, creative way, moving towards more diversity and complexity. In addition, at the core of the system, there is a dynamic balance of opposites that co-exist.

There are times, however, when you may feel blocked, stuck and see no possibilities/potentialities ahead. Feeling blocked is life’s feedback message that says: ‘you cannot continue with your old ways or old path’. A new way forward, which still needs to be discovered, is required.

On a general level, you may feel stuck over time if you do not:

• consider all the relevant complexity of the situation that you are dealing with,
• examine some of your tacit assumptions that may unknowingly be causing the self-defeating and destructive behaviours,
• acknowledge your own part in creating the problem,
• step back to reflect on the process, instead of repeatedly trying to force your perspective onto the situation that you are encountering,
• loosen the rigid perspective that you may have and instead consider the exact opposite of what you believe,
• have the courage to become the researcher of self.

As the researcher of self, you will be challenged to examine your thinking and interaction patterns in a reflective way. Just as in the scientific research process, you will be required to expand your knowledge of self, and move into the yet to be discovered, unknown parts of yourself. These aspects or dynamics of yourself may appear to be confusing or unacceptable, thus making it difficult to acknowledge. This will be an emotionally challenging process that requires courage and persistence as you explore parts of yourself that may not make logical sense initially. But as the reflective process unfolds and you gain deeper insights into the dynamics of self (which were previously unknown and undiscovered), a new understanding and respect of self starts unfolding. And with this, new potentialities to move forward come to the fore.

Ongoing journey