Woods, Terry and hero worship

I received an interesting email from Neil Burns, the Chief Executive of London County Cricket Club. With his permission, I would like to share this with you:

“I was thinking about our last conversation and the topic of Tiger Woods which we didn’t develop (for whatever reason) and I wondered if you would consider a blog entry on the issues of morality and the perspective of whether or not our top sportspeople need to be role models? Do we expect too much from them? Do we as a society feel it is the responsibility of these high profile people to be more than just very good at their sport?

We are experiencing a tabloid drama in UK at the moment with regard to the Chelsea and England football captain John Terry. Terry may be relieved of the captaincy by Fabio Capello by the end of the week for an alleged affair with the ex-girlfriend of a fellow England player Wayne Bridge who was a teammate at Chelsea until he moved to Manchester City around 12 months ago. The furore has grown daily since Terry has had a ‘super-injunction’ at The High Court rescinded last Friday which was protecting him from the information being made public by the Sunday tabloid the News of the World.

The influence of sports stars on society is significant and the increase in global television exposure has meant that the best and worst behaviours are transmitted into the living rooms of millions (and sometimes billions) of people. The fall from grace of the late Hansie Cronje hit South Africans hard. I remember the shock at the time he was exposed for his involvement with match-fixers and how many South Africans who adored him still believed him to be innocent (even to this day) despite evidence to the contrary. The refusal of those people to accept Hansie flaws suggests to me that some people have a need for hero-worship in their lives which television, image-makers and celebrity magazines help to build up and sustain so that the public has an opportunity to follow the ‘unreal’ lifestyle of people portrayed as cultural icons.

Mike Atherton (writing in The Times) today has dismissed the notion of sports stars needing to be role models. I have much respect for Mike as a journalist, broadcaster and as a man but I was surprised by his view. As a former England Cricket Captain, he must have experienced the responsibility that the role went beyond leading 10 other men to victory on the cricket field and also involved being the figurehead of the nation’s summer sport?

I feel sport is (needs to be) about more than money. I believe the power of sport can unite diverse communities globally, and also enhance a sense of national identity during global tournaments. Sport can be the vehicle to developing a better society and leading sportspeople can play major roles towards this worthy goal.

Alternatively, you may decide to ignore the gossip etc associated with this issue and think that writing a blog entry is not a good idea! However, I think current events have highlighted several fascinating moral and philosophical debates including the impact that power, money, status has on the young and talented sportspeople, and how it feeds the ego and eventually leads to self-destruction.

The need for role models in our society has never been greater. I believe that too much gets covered up by National Governing Bodies and Clubs to protect their iconic names and ensure that team results are the only priority. How wonderful it would be to have a vision and values led sports performance organization to inspire a better way …”

'Big wipe out coming' by Giaco Angelini

Unlike all other fields of endeavour, success in the entertainment world (of which sport is a part) comes at a young age.

There is a lot of hero-worship in the field of entertainment. The reason is that the life-style of an entertainer has such an appeal to the everyday person (and especially to youngsters who still have their dreams to fulfill). Who wouldn’t want to live a life of glamour, financial excessiveness, fast cars, power, alcohol and parties, sex, hotels and travel, outdoor activity as work, lots of free time every day, public interest and worship, ongoing media attention, always taken care of by coaches and medical support personnel (with no need to think for yourself)? And all of this at the tender age of say 20 years (which is at the height of one’s physical prowess). So given this scenario, which youngster in their right mind would ever want to aspire to become a teacher, fireman, nurse or postman?

Most youngsters have the fantasy to become a star – and the perceived value of this ’star’ is determined by two interacting factors: money and media ’spot-light’ (fame and attention). This fantasy is strongly supported by the parents since sport can be the avenue in which the child can have a better life. In most cases, this fantasy never becomes a reality since the youngster may not have the necessary discipline, dedication and talent that is required to make it in professional sport. As the child becomes an adult, this fantasy does not leave – it remains deep in the unconscious representing ‘the successful life that could have been’. So there is a deep yearning in the average man to actually live the life of the ’superstar’. It is this fantasy that drives and intensifies the process of hero-worship.

I don’t think many elite athletes seriously consider their role as ‘role models’. The simple reason is that they tend to be emotionally immature and are usually too wrapped up in themselves and only have their own interests at heart. In plain language, they are self-centred and self-absorbed. To reach the top in elite sport, you need to be self-absorbed. The positive aspect of self-absorption is the ability to be single-minded and focused in achieving your goals. The negative aspect of self-absorption plays itself out as demanding and self-gratifying.

While on-the-field behaviours of the elite athlete are always under the microscope of the coach (where discipline, respect and hard-work apply in the structured environment), off-the-field behaviours are determined by the athletes own internal beliefs, values and needs. Since elite athletes are usually over-indulged, their fundamental need is to seek out pleasures when they are not at work training. One of the characteristics of an elite athlete that may contribute to further difficulties is the desire for instant gratification; always getting what they want, and when they want it.

It would be unfair to paint every elite athlete with the same brush. It would be unfair to compare sports that may be struggling for financial support (such as surfing the Big Waves at Dungeons) with sports such as golf, soccer, American football, Formula One racing that are so complexly inter-twined with commercial ventures and sponsorships who are themselves feeding off the name of the superstar.

The world of some professional sports may be becoming unhealthy and unbalanced, much in the same way as our financial systems are. From a financial viewpoint, it doesn’t make sense that a golf putt may reap the rewards of a $2 million payout for one individual when most of Africa is struggling to survive off a salary of less than $1 per person a day. Unhealthy systems are usually characterised by excess. This excess results in wastage. And over time, there is always the question of sustainability when resources are not carefully monitored and used. Life has a way of re-correction. Crisis is usually nature’s way to reveal the issue at hand, to stop self-defeating actions and to activate processes of change that are more in line with the healthy exchange of energy. In the case of Woods and Terry, the crisis has resulted in a closer examination of the totality of an elite athlete (embracing aspects of morality, ethics and fair play).

The media play a huge role in creating sporting heroes. They also are especially quick to report on the drama of the private off-the-field world of the athlete. It is impossible to separate the two worlds of the athlete. Maybe this is the lesson that all elite athletes need to embrace. Being a sporting hero is a 24/7 endeavour – that’s the price you may have to pay for the financial rewards that you receive.

Special thanks to my good friend, Giaco Angelini, a film director, for the use of his photograph taken at the Big Waves at Dungeons, August 2009.

The official perspective

I have just watched the official press conference that was called by Cricket South Africa (CSA) to convey the official views of the sudden resignation of the coach, Mickey Arthur.

Prepared speeches were read out by the CEO and the coach. And then a question and answer time was opened up to the media. In such contexts very little meaningful information is actually shared. It is not a safe place to reveal one’s true feelings or to share one’s honest perspective.

Maybe it is because of my previous work with elite teams and administrators or maybe it is because of my understanding of how interpersonal systems behave in crisis when there is so much interpersonal positioning and covering, but I was left feeling that ‘the whole truth and nothing but the truth‘  had not had any possibility to surface. Throughout the press conference, I kept thinking that there was so much more to what was being said. There were so many more ‘unsaids’ than what was actually being conveyed.

In times of crisis on a leadership level, there are many narratives that are kept behind closed doors – hidden from others. These narratives are often wrapped up in power plays, political agendas, personality clashes and issues surrounding decision-making processes.

So at this point in time, the official view from the coach is that his sudden resignation was caused by him not being in agreement with the structures that were being proposed by the CSA board. His relationship with the captain was healthy and intact.

But I can’t stop wondering why the sudden resignation? Why now?

And then it hit me. We should not be seduced into believing that this was a sudden decision, wrapped up in this moment in time. These crises take time to unfold. There are interpersonal processes and dynamics that are at play that build up over time. They build up pressure – just as competitive teams do to each other in the heat of battle. Until the opposition cracks, and the victory is secured.

Interpersonal battles leave scars, create resentment and build up mistrust. Interpersonal battles are more complex, devious and hidden than the on-the-field battles that sporting teams encounter. There are ‘rules’ in sport. Interpersonal battles are not clearly defined and there is an unpredictably of behaviour.

At this point in time, the CEO of CSA has contained the crisis around the coach’s resignation, the captain is still the captain and seems ‘no part of the problem’, there is a care-taker coach to accompany the team to India and the CSA board will select the fourth coach to work with the team and help the captain achieve the objective of getting the team to the Number 1 ranking in world cricket.

The process has played itself out just as I expected.

But I can’t help thinking that there is so much more to this story. So we’ll have to wait for this narrative to unfold. In time, stories reveal themselves as the narrative moves towards the intricate complexity of the ‘truth’. These narratives are eventually revealed in time as the information finds itself flowing through the informal channels of those who are involved in the sport, moving through the complex inter-connected fabric of the system. Information gets shared in interpersonal contexts where those who feel aggrieved, feel safe to ‘really tell their story’ – to share their story without the need to posture or to censor.

Destruction over time

There is a worrying pattern that has unfolded over time for the South African cricket team. The pattern is wrapped up in the nature of the relationship between the coach and the captain, which sours over time resulting in the departure of the coach. The most recent departure being that of Mickey Arthur.

There have been three coaches who have come and gone, with Graeme Smith as captain. Each of these coaches had made it known that the relationship with their captain had been damaged to the point of being irreparable, causing an untenable situation for them to carry out their responsibilities in managing the team.

The coach/captain relationship forms the core of the leadership group that determines the culture and strategy of a team. It is the primary relationship in a team and can be equated to the father/mother relationship in a family. The family becomes dysfunctional if the primary relationship between husband and wife is unhealthy and destructive.

I remember consulting with a client who had gone through three divorces and was again in a relationship that he felt held some promise for the future. In the initial stage of each relationship there was the dream that this was the one relationship that was going to provide all the happiness he ever wanted. And then came the harsh reality as the relationship deteriorated over time.

In the early stages of our therapeutic process I noticed his ease of interpretation and explanation of why his relationships had failed. He had a ‘water-tight’ argument for why things had not worked out. What struck me was that he never truly saw himself as being part of the problem. He made flippant remarks about knowing that he was a difficult person to live with, of having high expectations and standards, and of being demanding. While there was an acknowledgement of these parts of himself that he felt may have contributed to the destruction of his relationships, he never came across as wanting to change or address these aspects of himself. My feeling was supported when he stated that all he needed was to ‘find a woman who could deal with all of my shit’.

I do not believe that the South African team will be able to move forward, be creative and play to their full potential, if the role of the captain in these crises around the coach is not carefully examined. The reason for this is simple. No coach can ever feel secure in the relationship with him. There is no evidence to suggest that a fourth relationship will be functional. In the beginning it may seem fine, but the historical pattern of deterioration is so entrenched which suggests that there is an inherent flaw in how the participants (coach and captain) conduct themselves in the relationship.

Elite sport often has to do with power, self-importance and ego. However, these characteristics need to be carefully managed since they have the ability to create mistrust and resentment which in turn, damages the interpersonal fabric of a team.

A leader needs to gain respect from all those around him. But this respect is reciprocal in nature. Any hurt or damage that has occurred in any relationship in the team (past or present and especially if this has occurred in the leadership group) will undermine the respect and trust that is necessary for the team to achieve new levels. This will be the reality that will confront Graeme Smith as he absorbs the after-effects of yet another coach who has severed the relationship with him.

Sometimes life lessons are difficult to fully comprehend. It is even more difficult (maybe impossible?) for individuals in power or administrators in power to act on this learning and to make decisions that only have the best interests of the team at heart. And that is why I think that Graeme Smith will do everything in his power to retain the captaincy and why the administration will support him, and why this crisis will eventually pass by and why a fourth coach will be appointed and…….

Dilemma, fair play and human error

I believe that there were two events during the 4th cricket test between South Africa and England that had a significant bearing on the final result (which South Africa won by an innings and 74 runs).

The first event occurred before the match actually started. It was wrapped up in a spin of a coin. Winning the toss was going to confront the ‘lucky’ captain with a major dilemma. By winning the toss the England captain was put in the situation of having to deal with the dilemma of having to make a decision. The dilemma was intensified by the fact that England were 1-0 up in the series. And further, the ‘uncontrollables’ such as the weather conditions and the state of the pitch added to the complexity of the dilemma that he was encountering.

The nature of a dilemma is to create uncertainty, insecurity and doubt. On a sporting level, a dilemma fragments an athlete’s energy. It works against the certainty and resolve that an athlete needs to be effective in the ‘harsh‘ environment of competitive sport.

The England captain  had to make a decision, that firstly he totally believed in and was committed to, but more importantly that his team was totally aligned to. Was he going to bat or bowl? He decided to bat in very difficult conditions that totally favoured the bowlers. Many locals who know the Johannesburg cricket wicket, felt it was actually the ‘correct’ decision, but it was clear that none of the English batsmen believed this.

Before the actual battle between bat and ball started, every English player in the dressing (including the captain) must have been confronted with one question in their minds – did we make the correct decision? Looking at the batting performance, this question was probably heightened with the fall of each wicket. The English batting performance in the 1st innings reflected insecurity, uncertainty, doubt, and there was little or no resolve and commitment to the process of scoring runs. This highlighted the power of how an unresolved mental dilemma in sport may drastically affect performance.

The second event was one ball that was bowled to the South African captain during the 1st innings as South Africa started their batting process. The score was 30 odd for no wicket, and the SA opening batsmen were managing to survive (sometimes with the help of good fortune) on a wicket that had not changed in character. The ball was still seaming and bouncing, making it difficult to bat on.

And then a ball was bowled to Graeme Smith, who played a shot away from his body. There was a distinct noise as the bat flashed past the ball – a noise that all cricketers know that signifies that the ball has touched the bat. Those who have played cricket also say that the batsman will always ‘feel‘ a slight vibration in hands that hold the bat, as the ball slightly brushes the bat. There was a spontaneous appeal from all of the England players – they had eventually made a break through! But the batsman stood his ground, shaking his head. The umpire was now confronted with a dilemma as he watched the batsman’s body language and heard the appeal from the fielders – did the batsman touch the ball or not? Some batsmen believe in ‘fair play’ and do not create such dilemmas for umpires. If they know they touched the ball, they ‘walk’. There is another school of thought in cricket, that one leaves all the decisions up to the umpire (which opens up the possibility of times when one may be lucky to be given ‘not out’ when in fact one is ‘out’).

Back to the one ball – the umpire gave the batsman ‘not out’ and the England captain asked for the decision to be referred.

A referral system for umpiring decisions was introduced into the test series in order to reduce the ‘mistakes’ that umpires may make when making a decision. In other words, to help reduce ‘human error’. The referral system utilises all of the available television technologies to reduce the possibility of ‘human error’. On a fundamental level, the referral system attempts to uphold fair play so that players do not feel aggrieved by an incorrect umpiring decision.

But the referral system is not a technological system, it is also a human system that is prone to ‘human error’. One of the technologies that is used to make a decision is the audio system that picks up all of the noises that occur between bat and ball. In making to his decision, the referral umpire had ‘forgotten’ to turn up the audio microphone and thus did not hear any sound as the ball passed the bat.

The referring umpire supported the ‘on-the-field’ umpire and Smith was given ‘not out’ to eventually go on to score a century. After the day’s play the English management lodged a formal protest against the review (referral) system.

A dilemma plays itself out in strange ways in reality. The decision that went against England in that early part of the SA innings was very significant and was in sharp contrast to how easily the wickets had fallen when they had batted the day before. That fundamental question of ‘did we make the correct decision to bat first‘ must have flooded back into consciousness as South Africa took command of the test match from that moment onwards.

South Africa and dilemmas

Most South Africans take their annual leave in December. It is mid-summer and those of us who live in Johannesburg travel down to one or other of our beautiful coastal towns to soak up the sun and enjoy the surf. I don’t usually travel during this period. Instead, I like to soak up the quietness and ‘non-rush’ that prevails in Johannesburg during this time.

My usual ‘stay at home’ pattern changed this season. In early December, I spent 10 days in Cape Town with my son and his wife who were out from Zurich. It was over the soccer World Cup draw and Cape Town was buzzing. There was a lot of excitement and optimism. South Africans are outgoing people who love sport. We are hospitable and want to make this a memorable event for those who decide to visit our country in June 2010.

Just before leaving for Cape Town my wife received a horrific email (that was doing its rounds) from a family member. The email depicted violent crimes in gruesome detail that were being carried out against our farmers. The email called on South Africans to boycott and not support the soccer World Cup due to the violence that was occurring in our communities. There was the feeling that our Government was not doing enough to combat crime and violence in our society. The country was not safe.

South Africa is a country of dilemmas. It is a country where good and bad; order and chaos are in constant interaction with each other. It is a country that challenges your values and often tests your resolve to live in an honest and respectful way. There may be events that unsettle you and get you to question your beliefs and/or your faith in people.  Living in South Africa, I find myself recalling a statement that Neale Walsh wrote in one of the ‘Conversations with God’ books: ‘Forget not who you are in the encirclement of what you are not’. It is a country that continually challenges you to align yourself to your highest vision of ‘who you are’ and on a more expansive level, to how you want to participate in the community that you live in.

We had our extended family over for Christmas day. While it was a joyful occasion, there was a part of me that felt a little sad initially. I have two sons, both living abroad. While I had one son celebrating Christmas with us, my other son, was alone in Richmond, Virginia, many miles away. There was nothing I could do about it. This was the nature of the situation. As I pondered on this, I felt my dilemma dissolve when I realised that special relationships transcend time and distance. And with this realisation, I felt an inner peace.

Christmas pudding at its best

In the first week of January, I find myself ‘getting ready’ for the new year. I actively go about creating order and space around myself in my home and my work context. I usually do a spring clean and get all of my admin work up to date. On a basic level, I like to take the first week or so of January to get organised. I like to write a reflection of the past year (trying to identify patterns and processes that may have been of value to me and to capture those patterns of behaviour that may have hindered me or blocked my expansion). Once I have considered the past patterns, I take time to look forward and to write a ‘vision’ for myself. This vision helps to remind me of those parts of myself that need to be developed and those parts of myself that I am appreciative of. My written vision is a reminder to myself of what I want to align myself with and how I want to live my life.

Today my wife and I dropped off some old clothes, a computer that we no longer use, computer games, sports equipment and some old furniture to a charity a block away from our home. This charity is run by one proactive and energetic woman. She has worked there on a voluntary basis for the past 10 years. Whenever I take stuff to her, she is very appreciative. When I arrive to off load stuff she helps me unpack my car. She is spontaneous and nothing seems to be too much trouble for her. She is not shy of work. She is self-sufficient and does not have any helpers to assist her in her work.

She liaises with needy communities and passes on furniture, books and food that has been donated. She is a go-between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’. I admire her. She is a wonderful living example of the true South African spirit.

May you always see yourself in your highest vision and brightest light in 2010.

Give attention to your intention

Everything in life is so complexly inter-connected and wrapped up in circular processes. Intentions and attentions are a case in point.

When you examine the energy flow of ideas and actions, you will notice that there is a self-organising and self-perpetuating process that glues one’s ideas, actions, feelings, assumptions, beliefs, needs and aspirations into a tightly contained ‘package’ that we then engage life with. This ‘package’ can be described as your worldview. Your intentions emanate from your worldview. Intention is the primary energy flow. It ‘drives’ and determines what you intend doing with your energy (via actions and thoughts).

Attention relates to ‘the where’ you direct your energy. And your intention will ‘tell’ your attention where to look. But you can decide to turn your attention inwards and observe what is driving your thoughts and actions (your intention). In other words, you can ask your attention to look at your intention. As you do this, you may notice that your intention may try to mask itself, it may not want to reveal its truth, even to you. However, by just observing it, it will in time reveal its truth to you.

Let me share an example to illustrate this.

I recently consulted with a young professional golfer whose main intention is to ‘be somebody special’. This emerged in how he spoke of his goals and his dreams and how he viewed himself living life. He stated that he did not want to live an ordinary life. In ‘being somebody special’ he had images and fantasies of being very rich, of being very successful on the golf course. However, this intention was ‘back-firing’. The reality of his situation was that he was finding it difficult to make cuts and earn a reasonable income playing golf (he was fading into obscurity). The reality that he was experiencing was ‘opposite’ to what his intention was wanting and driving for. And this was very painful for him to deal with. In further conversation, he attempted to mask his true intention of wanting to be rich, special and famous by enveloping it with a strong need (and intention) to use this fame to help disadvantaged people (he spoke about building a large hospital with the money he could win while  playing successful golf). I felt that he did this to give his intention to ‘be somebody special’ more credibility and acceptance, maybe in the hope to then achieve his ultimate goal.

Life is sensitive to your intentions. Life is co-operative and responsive and picks up your energy flow (intention).  Life will ‘mirror’ and reflect back your intentions. This reflection (and feedback loop) is life’s message or response to the intention. And this feedback loop may block the intention that is driving you. If your reality does not ‘match’ the intention that you are coating every action and thought with, then you basically are faced with two choices: 1) intensify your intention (push harder in the same direction) or 2) accept your life situation and look at re-orientating your intention (accept ‘what is’ and gently shift the direction of your intention). In my experience, we usually default into intensifying  the intention and try and ‘force’ life to comply to our will and needs.

Elite athletes always tell me that their intention is ‘to win’. While I do not disagree with this, I ask: ’so if this is your intention, where will you put your attention when you are losing?’ This usually unsettles and challenges them, since the intention of ‘to win’ is being exposed as a one-sided process that has not embraced the uncertainty of sport in which there is always the possibility of losing. So for me, the intention of ‘to win’ is not a meaningful intention that will help create possibilities for the athlete when there is intense pressure in a match.

When talking to my clients about their life stories I usually mention that in writing your life story you have only half a pen, life has the other half. Our intentions are only half the story. How life interprets them and accepts or rejects them, is the other half.

The intention is to have attention

In a recent interview, the author Malcolm Gladwell, spoke about how much time and effort goes into developing an expertise or accumulating expert knowledge. Not only was hard work required; but a period of around 10 or so years of sustained effort and  prolonged attention was necessary to eventually reach a point where one gained an expert perspective or developed an expert skill.  According to Gladwell, ordinary folk did not fully appreciate the extent and vastness of what this process entailed.

An elite athlete usually starts playing sport at an early age. The process to attain greatness is a long, and at times, arduous journey. In order to succeed in elite sport, an athlete needs to develop the ability to give total concentrated attention to the task at hand.

You nurture a process by giving it your attention. You nurture a child by giving it attention. In my experience, the most powerful attention you can give a child is to be ‘fully present’ in the interactive process; to listen and observe in a supportive caring/loving context. Playing sport should be no different.

Conscious observation is a special kind of attention. Reality formation is dependent on conscious attention. ‘Where you look is what you will see’ highlights the nature of attention; it is like a torch shining onto an object that is surrounded by darkness. That is the power of attention.

In any situation, there are lots of invisible magnets that are ‘pleading’ and ‘pulling’ for attention. Fundamentally, these invisible magnets are crying out for your mental energy. While some of these magnets may be in line with your goals, others may be a distraction and take you off course in what you may want to achieve in the long run. To reach your goals, you need to become aware of where your attention is being directed. When encountering an obstacle, it is sometimes easier to get distracted than to sustain your attention on the task at hand. Distraction is a ‘dis’ attraction; still an attraction but an attraction into a place ‘of least resistance’. This usually occurs at that very moment when concentrated mental attention is needed to embed itself into the task at hand.

The most powerful pull of attention occurs when you have an interest in what you are doing. This interest helps to sustain the attention when difficulties arise. Many children today only give their attention to stimuli that ‘entertain’. In such cases, the child engages the process in a passive way, where the attention is only called on to ‘receive’ input. To achieve success in sport, however, attention is called on to interact with the challenges that are being encountered. This type of attention is of an active, participatory nature, where deeper learning and understanding unfolds.

Going on a tangent, I have a rather strange idea about addictions. In my experience, an addiction is sustained by an intense, consuming attention. Every thought and action is dedicated to the addiction. That’s why addictions are so difficult to break. Paradoxically, it may be in the nature of addiction where some of the elements of the success formula in sport can be found.

Being: A special kind of doing

It has been some time since I made my last posting. When I started my blog, I made an agreement with myself. I wanted to post an article every 10 days or so. This was not an unreasonable request that I asked of myself. It was not intended to put pressure on me. Rather, it was activated by the need to set up a creative process for myself so that I could reflect on relevant issues and/or examine topics of interest.

I remember my college days when assignments had to be done. There was a lot of pressure on one to ensure that due dates were met. I remember working long into the nights preceding the due date. And then there was the relief once you handed the assignment in, only to be confronted with the next project. It was a never-ending cycle of ups and downs as pressure and relief  exchanged places over time. But as I think of this pattern now, the relief was only an illusion since completing one assignment moved you onto the next assignment. There was no respite from the on-going demands. You constantly had to be doing things, producing things; and with it there was this constant pressure that underpinned the process. The academic process was also wrapped up in an evaluation and critique process. And this usually heightened the intensity.

For many of us, work demands are no different. I consult with clients who often use the metaphor of ‘being like a rat on a treadmill’ to explain how they feel about the pressures of their lives. They hanker to get off the treadmill, yet lack the courage to act to even slow down a little so that they can take stock of how they are ‘doing’ (or living) life. They fear that they will be ‘left behind’ or ‘not achieve success’ if they just stop for a brief moment. Usually, it is crisis that throws a spanner in their works and catapults them off the treadmill.

I have just returned from a visit to the Pilansberg Nature Reserve. I always find that I am able to regenerate my energies in nature. I don’t have to do anything for this to occur. I just have to be in nature. It feels as if nature makes no demands on me. From this perspective, I feel that nature treats me differently to how I tend to treat myself.

Doing and being are synonymous in nature

Linking to nature, I wondered what ‘being in work’ means. And if there was a relationship between doing and being, what would it be? As I pondered this, I sensed that ‘being’ did not necessarily exclude ‘doing’. In fact, ‘being’ could be equated to a special kind of ‘doing’ – a doing without any resistance. Elite athletes are aware of this special kind of doing, where their energies flow effortlessly in challenging competitive situations.

Being in the zone is where nature constantly finds itself. Nature doesn’t have to do anything to be something. And that is why being in nature can be such a regenerating experience.

Meaning-seeking missiles

I have been asked by a number of people who have read my last posting on ’splitting and linking’ to expand on what I meant by the sentence: Besides being linguistic systems, on a deeper level we are actually meaning-seeking systems.

I had a fascinating breakfast with some of my wife’s friends this morning. We were a group of six – 2 men and 4 ladies. It was in the middle of the breakfast that the conversation moved into the ‘art arena’. I mentioned that I had gone to the von Gogh’s art exhibition in Basel, Switzerland in June this year. Unknowingly (to me), one of our party has a Fine Arts degree and as she added her insights and knowledge into the understanding of the various artists and their paintings, I became more and more enthralled and excited. I felt liberated and there was much joy in our group as we all contributed to the meaningful conversation.

Meaning-seeking systems thrive in situations where understanding is not yet complete, where there is more to the issue, where there are further perceptions to consider. Meaning-seeking systems are open systems that generate more and more insights. These insights unfold as ’splitting and linking’ occur in our conversation. And the vehicle for this to unfold is in language, but more importantly in attitude. The conversational flow needs to be underpinned by an attitude of co-operation and ‘not-knowing’ for the meaning-seeking system to kick into top flight.

Ideas that resonate with our internal world, coupled with the ability to challenge this world is where the complexity of meaning exists.  In other words, ‘connection’ and ‘challenge’ are what is required for deeper meaning to unfold. But there is another energy that the creation of meaning is dependent on; and that is the energy of joy and love. Meaning is  not absolute  and unchanging. Meaning is being created. In fact, deeper meaning is co-created. And it is in the relationships between people where language flows and where deeper meaning gets co-created.

Great art works are perfect playgrounds where meaning-seeking systems can gain deeper insights as well as to generate further information flow. Since art is a visual stimulation and can be interpreted in language in a ‘thousand or more’ different ways, it offers a target for the heat-seeking missiles to connect with. On a metaphoric level, I suppose meaning-seeking systems can be equated to playful heat-seeking missiles that seek to create (as opposed to destroy).

We all have unique personal stories to tell of some or other life experience. These personal stories have deep meaning to us. But as we share these stories in a loving, co-operative and curious interpersonal context, they re-ignite into further insights and ‘new’ meaning emerges. This is the nature of meaning-seeking systems. No insight is ever complete.

Art that has special meaning for me

Splitting and linking

It is 03h00. I have only had about 2 hours of sleep. I am not suffering from insomnia, but I do have the belief that if you can’t sleep ‘there is something you need to attend to that you are delaying’. For me, not being able to sleep is nature’s way to activate me into action. It seems as if my unconscious is trying to make me more conscious – metaphorically I feel that my unconscious is saying ‘awaken from your slumber’.

I remember a period of 3/4 months in the early 1990’s when I found it difficult to have a restful, full night’s sleep. I changed bed positions, tried to sleep earlier (to get in some sleep), then go to bed later, stopped drinking any caffeine and so on in order to solve my ’sleeping problem’. But nothing helped. It was also the period in my life when I had achieved some significant success in my work with elite athletic teams. I was running workshops on mental preparation and sports psychology. At the time, it was a new field in South African sport. During this time, my wife felt that I should write a book. I resisted this since it seemed like such a huge task. Instead, I had written 1-page handouts for the workshops that I had been conducting.

After months of little or no sleep, I can still remember the turning point. My wife walked into my office, opened up my cupboard and started to collect the 10 or so 1-page handouts that I had developed for my workshops. She stated that she was going to give these to the publisher as a skeleton and that somebody else would write the book. I remember protesting and making it known that these ideas needed to be expanded in order to create a book.  And only I could do this. One couldn’t just give 10 ‘unconnected’ 1-page handouts that were given out at workshops and hope that a book would be created.

I started to sleep peacefully on the day that I started to write my book. I had stopped delaying what needed to get done.

I am presently doing an Ericksonian hypnotherapy course.  As part of the training, I have been made more conscious about how we ’split’ and/or ‘link’ ideas to give meaning to our worlds. We are linguistic systems that split and link ideas to create new ideas. And these new ideas are split and linked again to generate other ideas. It is a never-ending cycle of splitting and linking. Besides being linguistic systems, on a deeper level we are actually meaning-seeking systems.

Last night, I went to a book launch of a good friend of mine. His book is about ‘the art of the idea’.

I really enjoyed the presentation that he gave, but one idea seemed to agitate me. This surprised me. But what was the idea that activated me emotionally? Well, it was the idea around the distinction that had been created between the meaning of a sunrise and a sunset. The idea was about the idea that there are two types of people: sunrise people who are upbeat and optimistic (give out energy) and sunset people who are somewhat pessimistic and dampen the mood of creativity (drain energy).

I wondered why I was so sensitive to this? And then it hit me. Pictures of sunsets and sunrises are equally beautiful and it is impossible to distinguish between the two. So the splitting of sunrise and sunset and then linking it to types of people did not resonate with me. In fact the idea caused an agitation (and rejection). But maybe, that is the power of an idea as one links and splits new pieces of information. An idea is not necessarily wrong if it causes an agitation.

When you consider your emotional response to an idea it usually tells you more about yourself than the actual content of the idea itself.

Information has no existence or meaning apart from that given to it by the system with which it interacts. Information has no objective existence (Dell 1985).

The birds are starting to sing outside. It is still dark outside but a new sunrise is just beneath the horizon. It is from the darkness that the sun arises. And it is from the light that the sun descends, as sunrises and sunsets ebb and flow in time.

Sunrise or sunset?

To my good friend, John Hunt, congratulations on producing an exceptional book with outstanding ideas. Always so thought provoking to encounter your thinking. All the best for the book.